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Tuesday, July 16, 2013

We are a society of people who talk too much. We tell people we love them, but do things to contradict that. We tell people to trust us, but act in covert ways that highlight very questionable motives. We tell people they can count on us; but drop the ball when we think they won't find out or when we have an emotional, physical or financial need so strong it compromises our reasoning.

When we're on the receiving end of this, it can feel like betrayal, it hurts, is disappointing and can even create defining moments in your life. I’ve been there, read the book, have the coffee mug in my cabinet and almost...I said ALMOST bought the t-shirt until….

I realized that I shouldn’t take any of those things personally. There is nothing that someone else does that should cause me to compromise my value system or make me "act a fool". It’s great to be able to walk away from a lesson; not so great to walk away from a lesson bitter and regretful. It's great to see the truth in others' actions; not so great to allow their truth to jade you. For some things, it really IS...what it is. When you realize this, you skip past the emotional responses & outbursts more quickly and can begin the process of acceptance with greater objectivity.

What I’m learning about human nature is that it’s exactly that - - - human nature. Mine, yours and everyone’s. It’s fallible, prone to selfishness and greed. It can weaken the strongest people, create uncertainty in the most confident of souls and deceive the slickest of them all. One's human nature can't be fooled or manipulated and one's best efforts to conceal it only amplifies it. Human nature. . . one's OWN human nature is to be understood. That understanding leads to enlightenment in so many areas...namely of one's own self.

No matter the person, I’m learning to trust actions. Words are empty unless there are actions (seen and unseen) that align with them. I’m listening more to what people DON’T say; what they DON’T disclose (unless they're exposed or forced to); what they DON'T choose to do....and finding their truth there. At that point, I can choose to create strife, try to change them or I can simply accept it and adjust accordingly. I find the latter (adjusting their position in my life) to be more in line with what I need to maintain emotional well-being and balance. It keeps my joy and peace in tact so that I can navigate the waters with clarity.

"Then you will experience God's peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus" ~Philippians 4:7

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